Life Lessons from My Younger But Wiser Daughter

I am the mom, so honestly I should be the one teaching the life lessons to my daughter. And I do, like how to avoid gassing people with her Tinkerbell perfume by spraying it in the air and walking through it. Or how to sneak leftover Halloween candy into a movie theater.

However, she has a fair amount of lessons to teach also, like how to convince her little brother to dress up like a fairy princess or feign sleep in the car to avoid interacting with the family. Here are just a few more things I have learned from her over the years.

#1: Never wear anything that’s uncomfortable.

My daughter has been known to put together ensembles that run the gamut from classy to clown suit on any given morning. There was a time when her sartorial statement might pair a sundress and earmuffs. While my example indicates she lacks a discerning eye, this is not the case; she has exacting standards. My daughter will not wear anything that is itchy/tight/hot/painful. I once bought her a super cute T-shirt with a sparkly purse on the front of it. It featured two of her favorite things: sequins and accessories. Since it was a sequined accessory, this one was a double whammy! She loved it. But her delight devolved to disdain when she wore it. The applique was itchy, so the shirt was a no-go. On the other hand, I have a pair of boots that peel the skin from my heels. I never wear them, but I hang on to them. In fact, I have moved them three times so far. Why? Because they are cute. Who is the grown up here anyway?

#2: Poop anywhere.

It doesn’t matter if we are in a port-o-potty at a parade route or a church bathroom in a wine country town. If my daughter has to go, she goes. Talk to her during? No problem. Hear an impatient fellow-patron knocking on the door? Sure. Wrong time of day? What’s that? It might be her superpower.

#3: You can never have too many best friends.

I grew up with a definite sense that a best friend was an item one had in the singular. You might have a lot of good friends, but there was only one best friend. My daughter does not share my view on this issue. If you ask her who her best friend is, you could get a list with as many as six names on it.

#4: Fairies are real.

When she was in Kindergarten, my daughter convinced all six of her best friends that fairies were real. She explained how you write the fairies a note and hide it in the backyard. The next day you went out to see what they left for you. Needless to say,  I was on the business end of a couple of pointed comments at school pick up from her friends' parents after this phenomenon swept through the hallowed halls of her grade school. I could understand the other parents’ ire. Luckily for me, she forgot about it after a few days—which was great because I heard the fairy was running out of the pink Post-it notes she was using for her correspondence.

#5: Anyone can have a bad day.

One year my daughter wrote a letter to Santa with what she expected on Christmas morning. Her list included an iPhone, an iPad mini, and, my personal favorite, a puppy. I told her Santa wasn’t going to bring her any of these things. After an exhausted sigh at my ignorance, she explained, “Mom! I only put those there so he would get me what I really want.” Diabolical.

After mailing her letter sans zip code because “Santa doesn’t need one; he’s too famous,” we got a letter back. Santa, the geriatric genius, told her she had been a very good BOY this year. I was fuming and silently rehearsing my pissy phone call to the North Pole’s answering service. My daughter, however, quietly folded up his letter and said, “I guess Santa was having a bad day.” Crisis averted.

I suppose the real life lesson here is that learning is a two-way street. After all, it’s clear upon reflection that she is more mature than me in a few areas anyway. Perhaps one day when I grow up, I will be as wise as she is.